


from the pen of one Eiko Carol

by glacialphoenix



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: Community: ff_land, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 12:11:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glacialphoenix/pseuds/glacialphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eiko loves writing fake love letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	from the pen of one Eiko Carol

**I**

Eiko writes morbidly florid prose with all the flourish and grandeur of playwrights centuries dead. (Occasionally, she steals their lines too, because everyone knows that quoting Lord Avon is a sign of Education and Intellect.) It may or may not also be a pity that her current favourite reading material generally centers around romance novels of rather dubious quality. (She has, in fact, noted the lack of Intellectual Quotations, but considers this a shortcoming she can ignore.) 

Eiko is also, rather unfortunately for General Beatrix and Captain No-Longer-Rusty Steiner, incredibly proud of the success of her love letter. Even if matchmaking hadn’t been her original intent. (These things are minor details and quite beneath her notice, anyway.) 

The end result is a series of increasingly overwrought ‘love letters’ purportedly from Steiner to Beatrix; from Mullenkedheim to a confused and rather outraged Alexandrian guard who immediately decided that half the Knights of Pluto were too damn stupid to spell their own names; from Blank to Cinna (Zidane laughed at that one for ages.) 

Mostly, however, they’re from “Steiner” to “Beatrix.” 

**II**

Beatrix receives the letters by increasingly curious moogle, and knows, of course, that Steiner isn’t the one responsible for these letters. Steiner may be ridiculously pompous about some things, but it takes the romance-novel-saturated mind of a young girl to come up with something this overblown. (She’s seen Garnet around that age. She knows.)

They are rather entertaining (“the pounding beat of my swollen heart” is quite a sight juxtaposed against sonnets), and as long as nobody else sees them, she’s not too concerned, and is quite content to leave well enough alone. 

After all, the moogles have assured her, repeatedly, that “no moogle would dare to try to open your letters, kupo!” 

(And with good reason, too.)

**III**

Moogles, however, are like humans in that they err; occasionally, letters fall into the wrong hands. Letters end up in the wrong envelopes. A wind blows the mail away. In this particular case, the letter meant for Beatrix ends up in an envelope addressed to Weimar. 

The Knights of Pluto can’t help but be keenly curious about Steiner’s love life, and besides, he and Beatrix are still the talk of the castle. Queen Garnet might have had a fairy tale romance (kidnappings! adventure! being swept off your feet by a charming boy with a monkey tail! ...well, all right, the monkey tail is a tad unusual, but still), but the General and their Captain? That romance is far more intriguing. Especially because it involves their Captain. 

Steiner is not pleased to find Laudo reading through a letter (that he most certainly did not write) with the air of an experienced literary critic. 

“Captain,” Laudo says, “the sonnets are a good idea, but not with this line about your head spinning and your knees going weak at the sight of General Beatrix.” 

He stares, quite firmly takes the letter from Laudo’s grasp, reads it, tosses it back on the table and stomps determinedly out with a clank. 

**IV**

Eiko is terribly disappointed to learn that Steiner has finally caught on to her scheme. 

She does, however, cheer up the next day, when Brereicht (who knows everybody) tips her off about Weimar liking one of the guards.


End file.
